Al-Qaeda's New Leadership - The Onion

Following Osama bin Laden’s death, the Egyptian-born Saif al-Adel has reportedly been named interim leader of al-Qaeda. Here are some of the new terror head’s qualifications

  • Emerged as the clear favorite in both the Peshawar caucuses and South Waziristan primaries
  • Able to grow a ratty beard with just enough gray to look dignified
  • Can keep a straight face while telling suicide bombers they can each expect 72 virgins in heaven

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