“Yes it’s true, Sarah Palin left FOX News this week. But don’t worry about Sarah. She’s like a cat, she always lands on her feet. … And she’s easily distracted by a laser pointer. … And she shits in a box in the kitchen.”
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER
HBO, 10:00 p.m. Maher’s scheduled guests tonight include actress Eva Longoria and Newark, NJ mayor Cory Booker, both of whom have been on the show before, and are comfortably outspoken. Two of the other guests, though, are sure to tackle the third-rail issue of religion. Alex Gibney is the documentary filmmaker behind Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God, which premieres next week on HBO. And Sam Harris is the neuroscientist and author whose best sellers include the provocative The End of Faith. - via TV Worth Watching
“If Mitt Romney had taken the oath this week, he’d have been taking credit, now, for the news we got this week: housing starts are up, the stock market is way up, unemployment claims way down. He’s the worst socialist ever, this Obama.”
Bill Maher Offers Donald Trump $5 Million If He Can Prove He's Not An Orangutan - HuffPo
“Look, I’m not looking for a feud with Donald Trump and I certainly only wish the best for the syphilitic monkey who does his Twitter feed,” Maher joked.
“Looks like Obama’s keeping Gitmo, they just can’t close it- it’s the Olive Garden of prisons; it gets terrible reviews but somehow stays open.”
“NEW RULE: Second-term Obama must have a few laughs by acting out the Tea Party’s worst fears. He must order Air Force One to fly everywhere upside-down like Denzel and replace Bo the White House dog with two pit bulls named “Malcolm” and “X.”
“Last night was a victory for pot, gay marriage and … math.”
Then-CNN (now ABC News) correspondent Christiane Amanpour correctly predicted that Osama bin Laden was hiding in a villa inside Pakistan in an October 2008 taping of the HBO show “Real Time with Bill Maher.” [HBO]
(via brooklynmutt)
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How did [birtherism] grow to the point where half of Republican primary voters believed it? It wasn’t just the silence of Republican leaders, it was the failure of people like Tom Brokaw to just dismiss it as racism from the beginning,” Maher wrote.
“People like him are always championing ‘balance’ over objectivity,” he continued. “They have to bring everything back to a discussion about how ‘both sides’ are guilty, instead of doing his job as a referee. If every single journalist just simply labeled birtherism what it obviously is — racism — the cancer wouldn’t have infected half the party. Maybe 25% or so, but most would be like, ‘Okay, this isn’t socially respectable.’”
“Every journalist knows [birtherism] comes from a racist place, so why can’t they all be as no-bullshit about it as Chris Matthews?” Maher wrote.
”“This has been denounced by … every independent organization. … Usually there’s some thread of truth, even in a bullshit ad. But we couldn’t even find a thread. Even Wolf Blitzer, who never gets involved with the truth, the other day called it untrue.”
“I think what’s different this time is that we’re so used to the Democrats being pussies about campaigns and not fighting and bringing a knife to a gun fight. This year, what’s different is that the Democrats are bringing a gun to a gun fight and it’s about friggin’ time. I can’t get too upset about some of the stuff that Obama or his super PACs are running, even if they’re not completely fair. Is it really fair that he’s accusing Mitt Romney of killing your wife? Not really. But you know what? It’s just deserts. To have them say, ‘How dare Democrats go into the gutter’? They’re just joining you in the gutter. You invented this sh—.”
“He’s not an intellectual. They said the same thing about Newt Gingrich. Somehow Newt Gingrich and Paul Ryan — these giant intellectuals — somehow they had the same great idea: Give more money to the rich people. What’s his big idea? Rich people should stop paying taxes and poor people should start looking for food in the woods. Can you name one area where he and Sarah Palin disagree on anything? So how come he’s this giant intellectual? The Ryan budget is a budget in the way that my doodle on a cocktail napkin is a blueprint for NASA.”
