“(Secret Service scandal) was just a pat-down that got out of control.”
“How long ago did you leave MSNBC to go to the Current TV show?” Letterman asked. “It’s over a year, right?”
“I don’t know,” Olbermann said. “I have to consult my notes because after a certain point, I can’t keep track of where I’m working. I don’t have any idea.”
Letterman then proceeded to give Olbermann an “adjustable business card.”
Happy would’ve-been 50th birthday, Bill Hicks. Here’s your finest moment.
Alright, this makes up for the last post. Bill Hicks, an fearlessly acerbic comedian famous for his brave commentary, would have turned 50 last Friday — had he not died of liver cancer in 1994, at the peak of his popularity. Slate did us a favor and posted his greatest moment, this 1993 “Late Show With David Letterman” routine, which stayed in the vault for 16 years after (according to Hicks himself) CBS balked at his jokes about Christianity. (Which, mind you, are nowhere near as bad as the action made them out to be.) We couldn’t even imagine what sort of brutal jokes he’d make about the current state of reality television, based on his super-dark Billy Ray Cyrus bit at the beginning. Letterman, regretting what happened, aired the performance in 2009, with Hicks’ mother at his side. SOURCE
Somewhat miraculously, O’Reilly agreed that the [Iraq] war was “something that should not have happened in hindsight,” but he also justified his support for it. “All the reportage was that Saddam Hussein did have these weapons,” he said. Letterman didn’t want his rhetorical victory to go unacknowledged, stood up and asked O’Reilly to give him a high-five. “C’mon! Up high! Get up here! C’mon, Billy, let’s go!” he taunted. O’Reilly clearly was not amused. “We’re having a good conversation, sit down,” he ordered, sounding like a short-tempered dad quelling a car full of rowdy kids.
NY TIMES: Choice cuts from David Letterman's monologue for tonight's show, in response to recent death threats against him:
- “Thank you very much for being here tonight. We have great audiences night in and night out, but tonight especially, it means a lot to me. Tonight, you people are more, to me, honestly, more than an audience … you’re more like a human shield.”
- “I’m so sorry, I’m a little late coming out. Backstage, I was talking to the guy from CBS. We were going through the CBS life insurance policy to see if I was covered for jihad.”
- “I have a fatwa on me. And they say the guy that issued the fatwa is an ‘Internet jihadist.’ Internet jihadist, and I said, ‘Well, heck, who says Obama isn’t creating jobs?’”
- And so now, State Department authorities are looking into this. They’re not taking this lightly. They’re looking into it. They’re questioning, they’re interrogating, there’s an electronic trail — but everybody knows it’s Leno.”
- And finally, from his top ten list: “Number 4: How can someone be so angry at a time when Kim Kardashian is so happy?”
Keith Olbemann visited David Letterman last night. Among other topics, Olbermann talked about his exit from MSNBC.
“It’s all fun, it’s all a circus, it’s all a rodeo, until it starts to smack of racism. And then it’s no longer fun.”
“If he comes back on this show, and I am not sure we want him back on this show under these circumstances, he ought to be prepared to apologize just for that kind of behavior.”
Keith Olbermann Returns To Television With Funny Backstage On Lettermann - Mediaite
“Top Ten New York Giants Excuses”
Jerry Seinfeld wonders why he was invited to perform for President Obama and Paul McCartney at the White House.
Clip from Late Show with David Letterman that airs tonight
Jim Carrey Mocks David Letterman For “Gay Leading Man” Question
David Letterman:
“in terms of a leading man, a heterosexual leading man, a heterosexual playing a homosexual, do homosexuals say ‘well, that shouldn’t have been a homosexual’ or do you worry about your image as a heterosexual leading man playing a homosexual?”
Jim Carrey:
“Boy, we haven’t grown at all, have we? We haven’t grown at all…. We’re still children in the schoolyard. Honestly. No offense Dave, for god’s sakes, have you ever seen a gay man? Are there gay people in Indiana? Is it ok to be gay there, is what I’m asking. There’s not a policy against gay people there or here?”
Tina Fey Resurrects Her Sarah Palin Impersonation on the Late Show
Stephen Colbert visited David Letterman last night
Jon Stewart visited David Letterman last night
- Pt 2
David Letterman tried on Rachel Maddow’s glasses

