Yes, because that’s how the pill works — there’s one for each sperm. They act like little baby deflectors. Rush knows what he’s talking about, because every time he’s had sex with a woman, he’s had to slip her a pill first.

Stephen Colbert

How you like me now, FEC? I’m rolling seven digits deep! I got 99 problems but a non-connected independent-expenditure only committee ain’t one!

Stephen Colbert said in a letter to the commission. The comedian disclosed Tuesday that his Americans for a Better Tomorrow “super” political action committee has raised a staggering $1.02 million. (AP)

liberalsarecool:

Mitt The Ripper

The super PAC founded by Stephen Colbert, and now under the leadership of Jon Stewart, has released its first ad in South Carolina attacking Mitt Romney for his work at Bain Capital.

Money quote: “As head of Bain Capital he bought companies, carved them up, and got rid of what he couldn’t use. If Mitt Romney really believes ‘Corporation are people, my friend,’ then Mitt Romney is a serial killer.”